Days 12, 13, 14: Get Ready for the Weekend!
Welcome back to the Phone Breakup Challenge – and congratulations on making it through your second week!
Today’s email is a little different because we’re going to combine three days’ worth of assignments into one. Why? Because I don’t want you to have to check your email over the weekend!
The goal of these three assignments is to continue what we’ve been doing all week – which is to say, creating better boundaries with your phone so that you can create more space for the people and activities that you love.
If you’re struggling to resist your problem apps – or just feel like you could need a little extra help – please consider getting an app blocker.
“App blockers” are apps or physical devices that allow you to control your access to the apps on your phone—for example, by setting schedules for which apps you can (and can’t) use. There are a number of these app blockers on the market, and they are much more effective than the built-in “screen time” features on iPhones and Android devices. To my mind, they are well worth the investment – and I see no irony in using technology to fight back against technology. (It’s a tough battle, and we should use all the tools that we can!)
For example, when I go on vacation, I use my app blocker to only allow me access to photos, the camera, the phone, and maps (and practical travel tools, like the airline app). This turns my phone from a temptation into a tool – basically a swiss army knife – and allows me to enjoy my time away.
My favorites include apps such as Freedom and Opal, and physical devices such as the Brick. Visit our Phone Breakup Recommended Products page for discount codes for some of my favorites.Establish some phone-free spaces in your home or work life where phones are not allowed. (You can think of these as “no-phone zones.”)
One of the main problems with smartphones and apps is that they infiltrated our lives so quickly and so thoroughly that we never even stopped to think about what we wanted our boundaries to be. As a result, it’s nearly impossible to find any space—or gathering—that does not include smartphones. This is destroying our ability to be present and fully connected with each other, and it’s also affecting our productivity, our memories, our creativity and, frankly, who we are as people! (See my book, How to Break Up With Your Phone, for a deeper explanation.) That’s why it’s so important that we begin to create boundaries.
I recommend starting with your bedroom (which hopefully you’re already doing) and the dining room table (put out a bowl of conversation prompts!). You can also create phone-free times, such as the first hour after you get up, or the last hour before bed.Stop “phubbing.”
“Phubbing” is short for “phone-snubbing” people – i.e. the incredibly annoying habit of checking your phone when you’re in the middle of a conversation with someone. From now till the end of our time together, try not to phub other people—and call other people out when they phub you. Notice what a difference this makes in the depth of your interactions (and the awkwardness you might feel when you call people out).
And . . . that’s it! Jot down your observations for yourself, and consider sharing them in the comments, too. (I’ll be back myself on Monday!)
To scrolling less and living more,
PS:
As always, you can ask me and your fellow participants questions—and share observations and insights with each other— by leaving a comment.
You can also send me questions privately simply by responding to your daily email, but I encourage you to engage with the community; you may be surprised to discover that other people are struggling with the same thing!
If you leave a comment on the blog, please be sure to check back — I read through every comment, and try to respond to each one! (And other people often chime in, too.)
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