Smartphones, Social Media, and Screens:

A Resource Kit for Families

Hello! I’m Catherine Price, co-author of The Amazing Generation. I’m also a science journalist, speaker, the founder of Screen/Life Balance, and bestselling author of books designed to help adults create better boundaries with technology and feel more alive, including The Power of Fun and How to Break Up With Your Phone. 

Parents often ask me for advice on how and when to introduce screens and devices into their children’s lives, and for resources that can help reduce family fights about screen time (not to mention help adults create better boundaries with their devices, too). Well, here you go! This kit contains: 

  • My suggested roadmap for how (and when) to get your kid a smartphone

  • Recommended tech guidelines for the whole family

  • Information on basic phones and smartphone alternatives

  • A free, shareable talk

  • Information on parental control settings and third-party apps

  • Resources for encouraging your school to go phone-free

  • Additional educational resources

These resources are part of a new downloadable workbook I’m creating called The Family Guide to Screen/Life Balance. It’s a one-week plan that you can use to help your whole family create healthy boundaries with technology and have more fun together.  

The full guide will be available in Spring 2026 for download at catherineprice.com (I’ll let you know when it’s available) — but this kit should help you get started right now.

I hope you find these resources useful, and I can’t wait to share more with you soon!

Catherine Price

Feel free to share any and all of these resources with anyone you’d like.

Suggested Smartphone/Social Media Roadmap:

Goals:

  • Delay smartphones for as long as possible (until at least high school, but ideally until at least 16)

  • Start with a family “loaner” phone

  • When it’s time for your kid to have their own phone, start with a smartphone alternative

  • No social media until at least 16

    I recommend following these steps:

  1. Keep your kids phone- and device-free for as long as possible—including not giving kids their own iPads. (iPads are essentially giant iPhones, and come with all the same concerns and risks.)

  2. Get a “landline” telephone and encourage your kids to use it. More specifically, get a VoIP (voice over internet protocol) phone that comes with an old-fashioned handset and places calls using your internet connection. (These are typically much cheaper than getting a separate line from a traditional phone company.) Popular options include Ooma (good for the whole family) and Tin Can (designed just for kids).

  3. When your kids first begin doing things independently out of the house and you want a way for them to call you, get a family “loaner” phone: a basic phone, such as a flip phone, that belongs to the family and is not “owned” by anyone in particular. Lend your kid the family phone when they need it, and collect it when it’s done. (You can find a variety of flip and basic phones at https://dumbwireless.com/ ; many people also like the Connekt phone, which is a talk-only flip phone with no internet or data. )

  4. When it’s time for your kid to have their own phone, start with a basic phone (also known as a smartphone alternative) Basic phones/smartphone alternatives are watches and phones that are specifically designed for kids and teens, and which allow basic communication (and, in some cases, a curated selection of apps) but do not give children unfettered access to the entire internet or allow them to download social media apps. They’re a great way to give your child independence and allow them to communicate with their peers, while still providing guardrails.  As a bonus, they are often considerably cheaper than full-fledged smartphones. Popular options include Gabb, Bark, Pinwheel, Troomi, and the Light Phone. (Many of these companies – as well as Gizmo and Garmin – also make “smart” watches that allow you to communicate with your child and track their location, but that do not allow access to the internet and social media.)

    I also recommend having them read The Amazing Generation, the book I co-wrote with Jonathan Haidt, before they get their first basic phone. It’s designed to help kids understand how tech companies are trying to manipulate them, and inspire them to decide for themselves to fill their lives with real friendship, freedom, and fun, instead of allowing Big Tech to control them. It also has lots of anecdotes from real 15-25 year-olds who regret having gotten smartphones and social media accounts too early, and want the next generation to avoid their fate

  5. Delay smartphones for as long as possible (until at least high school, but ideally until at least 16), and do not allow social media until at least 16. 

If and when you do get your child a smartphone, things are going to get more complicated and you’re going to have more fights (on the flip side, if you hold out, you will protect their brain during its most sensitive period of development!). But if you decide to go that route, here are some tips: 

  • Have them read The Amazing Generation as a prerequisite before getting a smartphone.

  • If you’re looking for an easy way to delay—and teach lessons about money and work along the way—simply tell them that they will have to pay for the smartphone themselves.

  • If you are paying for the phone and its data plan, emphasize that it is your phone, not theirs, and their access to it is a privilege, not a right.

  • Create a family smartphone contract and make a plan to revisit it regularly—and to make adjustments to the contract and your rules depending on how things evolve. (Here is a sample contract from Common Sense Media, as well as some guidelines from the director of Screenagers).

  • Emphasize that the smartphone should be used as a tool, and that if they start to show signs of compulsive use (or addiction), you will take it away.

  • Set up parental controls and consider installing a third party parental control plan as well.

  • Do not allow them to download apps without your permission. Depending on their age, tell them that you will be periodically checking their text messages.

  • Encourage them to tell you if anything strange or upsetting ever happens to them online—and assure them that you will unconditionally love and support them, even if they make mistakes.

  • Consider using a third party app blocker such as  The Brick, the Bloom, Freedom, ScreenZen, or Opal, to block (or allow) certain apps, on a schedule. (These are useful for people of any age!)

And remember: this is a collective action problem. The main reason people give their kids smartphones is that they don’t want their kids to feel left out. The easiest way to prevent that? Convince other parents to follow this road map, too—and to give your children more opportunities for real-life hangouts and fun. The more people you can get to join you, the easier it will be—and the more real life friendships and fun your children are having, the less desparate they’ll be for a smartphone. (If you want to fully understand what’s at stake, watch this keynote by Sean Killingsworth, founder of Reconnect — a movement on college campuses that creates phone-free experiences for students — speaking about how smartphones and social media have created a “social wasteland” for his generation.)

*If your child(ren) already has/have access to devices, do not despair! It’s not too late to make a change. You can explain to them that you’ve learned new information that has made you realize that is not appropriate or safe for children their age to have access to smartphones and social media apps, and that you will be making changes. Tell them that these changes may be hard, but that you will work through them together and you are confident that your child(ren) can handle them. (Here is a useful, free guide from Dr. Becky that includes scripts you can use to explain your decisions and new rules to your children.) If your children are on the brink of being old enough to have their own smartphone—or if you want to take an intermediary step—you can begin by enacting some of the family guidelines listed below.)

Smartphone Alternatives:

Deciding not to give your kids smartphones doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get them any phone; it just means not giving them a phone that comes with social media and unfettered access to the internet. Thankfully, there are a lot of great smartphone alternatives on the market.

Here’s a comprehensive guide that I put together that describes many of the features of these particular phones (I didn’t get to the Bark or the Garmin yet!)

In Praise of Landlines

Having a “landline”  (and encouraging your kids to use it) will help them develop the important (and often underdeveloped!) skill of having conversations with friends and learning to talk to adults. It also can reduce your older kids’ use of screens, as well as their desire for their own smartphones, by giving them a way to stay in touch with their friends without all the rules and restrictions that often accompany screen time. 

The trick is to require that all screens (laptops, tablets, etc) be used in a public space in the house, but let your kids take the landline phone to their bedrooms so that they can have conversations in private. In other words, give them full permission to call their friends using the landline whenever and wherever they want, but don’t allow them the same freedoms with screens. 

To make this even easier, encourage the parents of your kids’ friends to get family landlines as well, to normalize the idea of kids calling each other on the phone. (You may be pleasantly surprised by how many families immediately jump on board!)

And landlines come with an additional bonus: they can help reduce your anxiety around taking a break from your own smartphone. You can simply give your loved ones your landline number so that they can call it in case of an emergency, and/or set up your smartphone so that it forwards calls to the landline number at night, or when you’re trying to take a break. (This is a great way to model healthy screen habits for your kids.) 

3rd Party Tools & Solutions:

The Brick and Bloom are cool gadgets that let you block all apps on your phone except for the ones you choose to allow — which is great if, say, you want your kid to only be able to use a phone to listen to podcasts or audio books, or if you want to take a break from your own phone for a while! (Note: the Brick does NOT work for iPads yet, unfortunately.)

There are also great app-blocking apps, including Freedom, ScreenZen, and Opal.

I reached out to a few of these companies and got discount codes, which you can find in this post (along with some additional information about these solutions). Bottom line: they’re all MUCH better than Apple’s Screen Time!

Recommended Guidelines for Better Screen/Life Balance at Home

Google Doc

Parental Control Apps and Service Plans

You may also want to consider signing up for one of these “family protection plans,” offered by independent companies and as add-ons by cell/internet service providers, that have much more robust safety features and parental controls than the native parental control options on iPhones/Androids (more on which below). For example, you can set schedules for when certain apps are (and are not) available, or even set a schedule for times when internet access is available at your house.

Kids, Smartphones and Social Media: The Risks and the Solutions

The following is a talk I did for parents at my daughter’s school. Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, referred to it as “the talk every parent should watch” and “the video you should share with the parents of your kids’ friends.” Please feel free to do so! (The more people hear its message, the better.)

Watch on youtube

Guides to Parental Controls:

If your child(ren) has access to any other internet-enabled device (like an iPad), I recommend taking the time to learn about and set up parental controls for individual apps and devices (which are annoying and often easy for kids to get around, but we have to try!).

These are a few that I found — if you know of more, please tell me about them using the contact form below. It takes a village!

Comprehensive guide to parental controls on a wide variety of devices <—- Start here!!!

The New Mexico Department of Justice has put together a series of guides to privacy settings on some of the most popular social media apps and gaming platforms (scroll down on the page).

Comcast Parental Control Guide for XFinity

Common Sense Media’s Parent Resource Page

Common Sense Media “Ultimate Guide to Fortnite”

iOS: 

Android: 

Phone-Free Schools Resources

I helped build three free Phone-Free Schools Action kits for The Anxious Generation: one for parents, one for school administrators, and one for teachers and educators. In addition, I highly recommend downloading the Phone-Free Schools Movement's Phone-Free School Administrator Toolkit—it's a detailed, step-by-step guide for how to roll out a phone-free policy at your school (and is the closest I’ve found to a plug-and-play solution).

Additional Resources:

Books:

The Amazing Generation (by Jon Haidt and Catherine Price) – written directly for 9-12 year-olds!

How to Break Up With Your Phone by Catherine Price — an easy-to-read (appropriate for 13-year-olds through adults) look at why our phones and apps are designed to hook us and what our screen time is doing to us, coupled with a 30-day plan to take back control. It’s designed to help people of all ages create healthier relationships with technology and devices, and is a great thing to do as a family.

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt (book making the case that we should roll back the “phone-based” childhood and restore the “play-based” childhood)

10 Rules for Raising Kids in a Tech-Filled World by Jean Twenge

The Tech Exit by Clare Morell (particularly useful if your kids already have access to devices and you want to walk back)

Childhood Unplugged by Katherine Martinko — excellent book about her own family’s practice of digital minimalism. It’s both philosophical and packed with practical advice.

24/6 by Tiffany Shlain (about the value of doing a regular Digital Sabbath with your family)

Newsletters: 

Movies:

Additional Resources:

ScreenStrong — great resource for parents whose kids are struggling with gaming (also has a great textbook about screen time and brain development)

Dr. Becky’s guide to setting boundaries as a parent (even before smartphones are an issue!)

NPR article about the redacted documents from the October 2024 lawsuits against TikTok (truly shocking)

Wall Street Journal video expose on how TikTok’s algorithm figures you out — parents, you need to watch this

Video of Sean Parker (first president of Facebook) and Chamath Palihapitiya (former VP of user growth at Facebook) talking about the platforms they created (this is the source of the clips I played in the talk)

Keynote by Sean Killingsworth, founder of Reconnect (a movement on college campuses that creates phone-free experiences for students)

FBI PSA about sextortion schemes on Roblox and other multiplayer games

Chimpanzee using Instagram

Op-ed by 17-year-old: “I’m a 17-year-old TikTok junkie. I need this ban.” (NY Times)

Article about False Promises of Ed-Tech from After Babel (Jon Haidt’s substack newsletter)

Article about how Ed-Tech has failed from After Babel

Ed-Tech Triangle from Everyschool.org - tool to help school administrators and teachers evaluate which sorts of technology to allow in the classroom

Dino Ambrosi TEDx talk, “The Battle for Your Time: Exposing the Costs of Social Media” (in which he estimates that the average 18-year-old is on track to spend 93 percent of their remaining leisure time on a screen

“Family Media Plan” interactive tool from the American Academy of Pediatrics (helps you create a family plan for screen time limits, boundaries, etc)

Op-Ed by Surgeon General Vivek Murthy about why he’s calling for a warning label to be put on social media (akin to cigarettes)

Mark Zuckerberg interview on The Verge

My Substack post about Instagram’s Teen Accounts

“Gen Z has regrets”op-ed in the New. York Times about Gen Z’s feelings about social media platforms

Legal Decision revealing some of the tactics social media companies have employed to target schools and get kids in school to use social media (and some of the alleged effects that kids’ social media “addiction” has had on schools)

Sign Up For My Substack Newsletter

I write a Substack newsletter about screen/life balance, phones, fun, and trying to feel more alive. I have no idea why this sign-up form is so poorly formatted, but it should get the job done!

Questions? Comments? Additional Resources/Ideas?

Let me know!

(If you want to inquire about a speaking engagement — I love presenting to parents and students! — reach out to Jade Garnett at the Harry Walker agency, at jadeg@harrywalker.com)