Day 18: Meditate
Welcome to Day 18 of the Phone Breakup Challenge!
Today’s assignment is to engage in an attention-building practice for another 10-30 minutes. (Are you sensing a theme to this week yet? I’m going to help you build up your attention span yet!)
You could choose one from yesterday’s list or you could try something a bit more formal: meditate!
In mindfulness meditation, which is what I’m going to suggest you experiment with today, you don't fight your own thoughts; instead, you learn to co-exist with them. Eventually, if you treat them with compassion, they may quiet down on their own.
Here’s how it works: you choose something from your present experience to focus on—for example, your breathing, external sounds, physical sensations, or even the coming and going of thoughts—and then you try to maintain your attention on that one thing for a set period of time, without judging yourself or trying to change anything.
Today, I’d like you to experiment with a brief session of mindfulness meditation. You have two options for how to do so, one of which involves your phone, and one of which does not.
If you don’t want to use your phone, just set a timer, close your eyes, and try to train your focus entirely on your breath (or feelings in your body, or sounds in the room) for ten minutes.
When your mind wanders—which it will—gently bring your attention back, over and over and over again. (You can also do this using a beaded bracelet or necklace, taking two or three breaths for every bead.) Once you’ve gotten the hang of it, you can slowly begin to increase the duration. (But you don’t have to: even five to ten minutes per day will help.)
The trick is not to fight your mind when it wanders. Instead, once you notice that your attention has drifted, gently bring it back without criticizing yourself. You’re likely to have to do this multiple times during your practice—possibly every few seconds, depending on how quickly you notice that it’s happened. And that is totally fine. The very fact that you noticed that your mind has wandered means that you’re doing it right.
Your other option is to do a guided meditation using—gasp—the internet or your phone. Yes, I recognize the potential irony of that suggestion. But as is also true with the app-blocking apps we experimented with earlier, this is a case in which your phone can be an extremely useful tool. There are a lot of excellent meditation apps, talks, podcasts and courses available online, many of which are free. If you find one that you like, consider making a shortcut for it, or giving it a prominent spot on your newly redesigned home page, so that every time you open your phone, you'll be reminded to practice.
So please choose one of these options, and try a ten-minute meditation. Make sure to take stock of how you feel, mentally and physically, before and after you do it (and consider sharing your experience in the comments). Try to continue this practice through the end of the week and, if you find the experience intriguing, experiment with making a short meditation session part of your daily routine for the remainder of our time together. Keep it up, and by the end of the breakup you’ll have two weeks under your belt.
To scrolling less and living more,
PS:
As always, you can ask me and your fellow participants questions—and share observations and insights with each other— by leaving a comment.
You can also send me questions privately simply by responding to your daily email, but I encourage you to engage with the community; you may be surprised to discover that other people are struggling with the same thing!
We’ll be gathering up questions tomorrow for me to answer in my weekly video — so if you have any questions you haven’t brought up in the comments, send them to us now by responding to your daily email!
Remember! Tomorrow (Friday) is the big day: I’ll be inviting you to take a full 24-hour break from your phone. Want a head start in preparing for it? Check out this preparation guide. I know you’re probably hesitant about the idea, but I assure you that people who do the 24-hour break report back that it was one of the most enjoyable parts of the entire breakup. So share your anxieties and concerns in the comments, and let’s support each other!
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Catherine will be popping in once a day to read through and respond to your comments. You may also hear from other members of the team, Maryana and Laura, who are helping with logistics.