Days 19, 20, and 21: Your Digital Sabbath
Welcome back to the Phone Breakup Challenge – and congratulations on making it through your third week!
Today’s email is a little different because we’re going to combine three days’ worth of assignments into one. Why? Because I don’t want you to have to check your email over the weekend!
This weekend, my three-days-at-once approach works particularly well because there’s really just one thing I want you to do: take a full, 24-hour break from your phone. (Remember how I asked you to mark this on your calendars at the beginning of the challenge? This is why.)
Also known as a “Digital Sabbath” (or, as I call it in the book, a “Trial Separation”), a 24-hour break from all screens can be a wonderfully rejuvenating experience – even if the mere thought of it is currently causing you great anxiety!
You can do the experiment either day this weekend, though I personally recommend starting tonight (Friday) around sunset – or before dinner, whichever comes first.
Here’s what to do:
Print out this PDF of suggestions for how to prepare. These suggestions will help make the experience easier, more successful, and more fun.
When it’s time to start, I recommend doing a mini ritual to mark the transition. For example, my husband and I like to put our phones away and then light a candle before dinner. (But you do you.)
I also recommend making some plans for how to handle contingencies (including telling people you know that you won’t be available for the next 24 hours – see the PDF for suggestions on how to deal with common anxieties). And also: make some plans for yourself, so that you don’t feel totally lost (even if “fun plans” simply means sitting near a window with your coffee on Saturday morning and watching the birds).
If you’re feeling FOMO (the fear of missing out) about what you might miss on your phone, try to flip things around and think about JOMO: the joy of missing out on whatever might be popping up on your phone. I also find it helpful to focus on all the things I am definitely missing when I’m absorbed in and distracted by my screens, such as the sensory details of the world around me, or the pleasure of being fully present with people in real life—which is to say, the things that truly matter to me. If this resonates with you, write JOMO on a post-it note and stick it somewhere in your house as a reminder—and see what a difference this simple reframing makes in your mood.
If you’re consumed by anxiety, try asking yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” (Chances are, it won’t be too bad.) For anything that is genuinely concerning, make a contingency plan.
Don’t worry if you feel anxious right now: everyone does. But please trust me when I tell you that the experience will be worth it. People who try a Digital Sabbath usually report back that it was one of the most enjoyable parts of the entire breakup (they often end up making it a habit!) . So share your anxieties and concerns in the comments, and let’s support each other!
To scrolling less, living more, and daring to take a break,
“I thought it would be so hard, but I was just sitting on the couch, and said to myself, ‘Let’s give it a go.’ I turned off my phone and didn’t look back.” — Deb
“In the afternoon, I was walking around a city I don’t know well for about three hours and instead of trying to figure out how to maximize my time, I just wandered. I felt even-keeled and unhurried. And I had a lovely time.” — Lauren
PS:
As always, you can ask me and your fellow participants questions—and share observations and insights with each other— by leaving a comment.
You can also send me questions privately simply by responding to your daily email, but I encourage you to engage with the community; you may be surprised to discover that other people are struggling with the same thing!
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Catherine will be popping in once a day to read through and respond to your comments. You may also hear from other members of the team, Maryana and Laura, who are helping with logistics.