Day 4: WWW
Welcome to Day 4 of the Phone Breakup Challenge!
Today has two parts. First, I’d like you to reflect on what you've noticed over the past twenty-four hours regarding when and why you typically use your phone. Ask yourself:
What did you notice about how—and how often—your phone interrupts you, or does something that grabs your attention? How did these interruptions make you feel?
Next, as a way to transform noticing from a one-time experiment into a consistent habit, I’d like you to begin to do an exercise I created called WWW, short for “What For, Why Now, and What Else” which will help you take control of your mindless phone checks.
To start, add a speed bump (see yesterday’s assignment) to your phone or physical environment that will help you notice when you’ve picked up your phone, so that you’re reminded to do this exercise. (You can also change the image on your home or lock screen to “WWW,” or write “WWW" on sticky notes that you post in conspicuous places, such as on your laptop or bathroom mirror.) Then, when you notice that you’ve reached for your phone, do your Ws.
Here’s how it works.
WWW: What For, Why Now, and What Else
Any time you notice that you are about to reach for your phone, take a second to ask yourself the three Ws:
What For? What are you picking up your phone to do? (For example, to send an email, buy something online, order dinner, take a break, and so on.) Do you have a purpose?
This step alone—i.e. identifying whether you have a purpose, and what that purpose is (even if it’s to mindlessly scroll for a few minutes!)—will make it less likely for you to get sucked in.
Why Now? Why are you picking up your phone now instead of later? The reason might be practical (you want to take a photo), situational (you’re in the elevator), or—and this is the most common!—emotional (for example, you’re anxious, lonely, stressed, or bored).
What Else? What else could you do right now besides check your phone? Maybe you could find a different way to give your brain the reward it’s after—for example, if you need a break, maybe you could go for a five-minute walk, or use your phone to call a friend. Maybe, instead of reaching for your phone, you could decide to do nothing: our brains need downtime, and staring out a window can be surprisingly soothing. Or maybe you complete the exercise and decide that you really do want to use your phone right now. If so, that’s totally fine: use your phone!
There’s no “right” answer; the point of WWW is simply to get into the habit of noticing and understanding your own impulses. The ultimate goal is to make it more likely that, if and when you turn your attention to your phone, it’s the result of a conscious decision.
Try doing the WWW exercise several times today and then, if you’re up for it, share your experience and observations in the comments.
To scrolling less and living more,
Reminders:
This breakup will be more fun if we get to know each other. If you haven’t already, please take a moment to introduce yourself.
You can ask me and your fellow participants questions—and share observations and insights with each other— by leaving a comment.
You can also send me questions privately simply by responding to your daily email, but I encourage you to engage with the community; you may be surprised to discover that other people are struggling with the same thing!
Don’t forget to download and print the companion workbook. Visit this page on my site, add the workbook to your cart, and enter FEBPHONEBREAKUPWORKBOOK at checkout. (Please keep the code private.) After you submit your order, you should get a separate email with a download link.
Please make sure to find or order a standalone alarm clock – and start using it!
I’ll be asking you to join me in taking a full 24-hour break from your phone from 5pm on Friday, February 20th to 5pm on Saturday, February 21st. If you haven’t already, please put this date in your calendar!
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Catherine will be popping in once a day to read through and respond to your comments. You may also hear from other members of the team, Maryana and Laura, who are helping with logistics.