Day 3: Start Paying Attention
Welcome to Day 3 of the Feb Phone Breakup Challenge!
Now that you’ve written your phone a breakup letter, your assignment today is simply to start paying attention to how and when you use your phone, and how you feel when you do so.
Pay attention to situations in which you find yourself reaching for your phone and your emotional state before and after you use it. How often does your phone interrupt you? What effect does using your phone have on your posture and your breathing?
Also (and this is important): do you notice any particular situations or activities that regularly trigger you to pick up your phone?
For example, do you always pick up your phone when you’re waiting on line (or for a traffic light)? Do you have a habit of checking it on elevators, or while you’re brushing your teeth? Et cetera.
To make it easier to notice when you pick up your phone, consider creating a speed bump (see below). Then jot down your observations, and consider sharing them in the comments.
Create a Speed Bump
One of the most effective ways to regain control over our phones is to build in speed bumps, or small obstacles that force us to slow down and notice what we’re doing. By creating a pause between our impulses and our actions, speed bumps give us the chance to notice what we’re doing and change course.
Speed bumps can be physical or digital. For example, to help you notice when you reach for your phone, you may want to put a rubber band or hair tie around your phone or a piece of tape or sticker on the back. That way, any time you reach for your phone, you’ll notice something different about it and be reminded to notice that you just picked up your phone—and that split-second reminder will serve as a speed bump that slows you down and gives you a chance to think. You’ll probably need the speed bump for only a few days; after a while, noticing your actions will become more automatic. You can also create a digital speed bump, such as changing the image on your home or lock screen to a question, such as “Why did you pick me up?”
To scrolling less and living more,
PS: Today at 5pm eastern is the final deadline for friends and family to sign up for the February Phone Breakup – they can do so here.
Reminders:
This breakup will be more fun if we get to know each other. If you haven’t already, please take a moment to introduce yourself.
You can ask me (and your fellow participants) questions—and share observations and insights— by leaving a comment on this post. (I check and respond to comments each day.)
You can also send me questions privately simply by responding to the daily email, but I encourage you to engage with the community by leaving a comment on this post; you may be surprised to discover that other people are struggling with the same thing!
You can see a list of all of our daily assignments so far – as well as answers to FAQ – at the February Phone Breakup home base. (I recommend bookmarking it.)
Don’t forget to download and print the companion workbook. Visit this page on my site, add the workbook to your cart, and enter FEBPHONEBREAKUPWORKBOOK at checkout. (Please keep the code private.) After you submit your order, you should get a separate email with a download link.
Please make sure to find or order a standalone alarm clock!
I’ll be asking you to join me in taking a full 24-hour break from your phone from 5pm on Friday, February 20th to 5pm on Saturday, February 21st. Yes, I know: you probably just freaked out — most people find this idea very scary. BUT those same people often end up saying that it was one of the most rewarding parts of the entire breakup.
How to Leave a Comment/Join the Conversation
If you want to start a new thread/conversation, simply type your comment into the big white comment box below.
If you’re trying to respond to a previous commenter, or add a comment to a thread, simply tap the small “reply” circle on the top right of the post (if you’re on a computer, you may need to hover your mouse over the comment to get the “reply” option to show up) and reply in the thread. This will help keep our conversations organized.
You do not need to log in or create an account in order to comment. Simply enter your first name, ignore the other fields, and then submit the comment as a guest.
Catherine will be popping in once a day to read through and respond to your comments. You may also hear from other members of the team, Maryana and Laura, who are helping with logistics.